"lick on my chocolate salty balls (just put 'em in your mouth)"

do y'all remember that song Chef sang from the cartoon South Park on Comedy Central? that had to be the funniest thing i had seen on tv...until the Dave Chappelle show. but i digress

this blog entry is about licking balls. if that offends you, please stop reading now. ok, the rest of you pervs like me, read on - lol!!

i remember when one of my homegirls told me about licking her bf's balls. i had never heard of that before! and this was in med school, so it's been within the past 2 years. like i have said before (and i'm sure i'll say again) i am a mean dick sucker - lol!! but the thought of going a little further south never crossed my mind.

since i am picky about the dicks i will suck, i was even pickier about whose balls to start licking. when MJ and i became an official couple, he became my first conquest.

the only problem is that MJ has a lotta "moss at the base of his tree". i mean his freakin' pubes have got to be about 2 inches long - NO LIE!!! whenever i suck his dick, and tighten my lips coming back up, i always catch a pube in my lips. then as i go back down, the pube ends up getting wedged back there in my tonsils.

i probably have enough of his pubes in my stomach to cough up a hairball or have the doctor think i have a hair swallowing disorder or some rare intestinal obstruction!! but i decided to try to lick his balls anyway.

the balls were even hairier than the base of his penis! when i ran my tongue across them, i caught 5-6 pubes each lick! i just spit them shits out right on the sheets (dare i make my hairball any bigger). so i know he knew his shits were extra hairy

i asked him if i could bring some scissors the next time i came over. he kinda freaked out. i don't know why men get scared when you wanna bring something sharp near their genitalia...the whole Lorena Bobbit thing must have something to do with that.

the next day same ritual - me licking balls and spitting out pubes, him enjoying every mintue of it. finally i just came out and said "Babe, can we trim the pubes?" no answer from him.

i was like "fuck that" i'm not gonna continue to risk my digestive health so this muthafucka can sit back and enjoy my skills.

so the next day he said he had another present for me. i'm looking all around his house, but i don't actually see anything, but i didn't say anything about it either. we get into bed, and he's pushing my head down under the covers, while i''m DREADING going down there.

i get downtown, and ALL THE PUBES WERE GONE!!! it was slick as a baby's butt!! did i go to work on his shit THAT night!! he said that was the best he's ever felt. i told him he should shaved them balls sooner - LOL!!