i am so emotional (my fuckin' hormones)

i really hate having my period...and YES, it's still on. i bleed forever.

yesterday, i ran into my best guy friend. yes, the one i fucked recently with the nicely curved dick - lol!! he keeps telling me his door is still open, but i can't bring myself to do it: for one - my situation with MJ. second - i am so in love with him (meaning BGF not MJ).

i've been in love with BGF for years, i just have. but it's been a kind of a (what's that shakesperian word...) an "unrequited" love. i've just loved him from afar and never told him. we are good friends and can and do talk about anything. if BGF came at me with a ring tomorrow, i'd drop MJ and would marry him instantly. i already know that i wouldn't mind spend the rest of my life with him. yeah, THAT kind of love.

so yesterday, BGF, me and my partner in crime (cousin candy) were all talking. he was giving candy advice about her relationship. and incidentally her man and MJ are acting exactly alike...nice at first, with a little shittiness mixed in.

all the sudden, my fuckin emotions get the best of me, and i start crying. in front of my BGF.

my sweet BGF just held me and let me cry all over his sweater (and it was one of those uncontrollable, slobbery crying spells).

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

he stroked my back and my hair, and kissed my forehead and told me everything was gonna be okay, no matter what.

then i did the unthinkable:

i told him i had been in love with him for years

(no i didn't just do that!!)

(yes...i did)

SIGH!!

he told me that it made him feel special to know that someone cares about him...but he didn't really tell me that he had feelings for me in return. but it was already out, like the cat outta the bag, and i can't take it back.

him and candy were talking about what i said, but i had already gone back to crying, so i didn't hear much. but i did hear them both agree that i would be the perfect woman for him.

Candy told me later on that when i told him, he just smiled this HUGE smile.

so now, i'm headed to atlanta for the rest of the weekend. it's my homegirl D's birthday, and i definitely need to get drunk after this shit.

DAMN YOU MENSTRUAL CYCLE - CURSE YOU TO HELL!!