i'm finally a sub!

as soon as i typed the title, i realized that could be taken two ways (i have a filthy mind - lol!!) what i actually meant was that i became a substitute teacher, not any of that Dom/Sub S&M type stuff.

just like my online buddy future, i am helping to craft and shape young minds...but these kids are BAD as hell!! it really takes a lot of patience to work with kids today. back when i was a kid, the teachers could hit you and everything. i remember being in catholic school and them nuns would crack you in the knuckles with a ruler in a heartbeat.

i only signed up to work with elementary school kids (5th grade and below) and already i've written up two students and sent 3 to the vice principal. one kid was so bad the vice principal REFUSED to see him and just sent him back to me!! i asked one girl in the class what the normal teacher does with him. she said the teacher just sends him out in the hallway so everyone else can learn. can you imagine??

please, just give me 10 minutes with him and one of those rulers Sister Anne used to have and I bet you he'll shape up! but of course, corporal punishment is illegal and cruel. but so is disturbing 20 other kids because you have some behavioral issues. of course he's a black kid, so that makes it even WORSE, and of course his parents think there's nothing wrong with him.

on the good side, my daughter loves to see me in school and tells everyone "that's my mom" (like they don't already know). it was cute anyway!

the yeast from HELL

sometimes life really sucks...i have a wicked yeast infection and it hurts like a BITCH!!

unfortunately i take a prescrpition antibiotic that causes me to get yeast infections often. but since i'm a med school student, i usually have a generous supply of diflucan, which knocks it out in one dose. when i noticed that familiar non-odorous discharge, i went to my stash, and saw it was...EMPTY -

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

and since i'm on leave of absence from school because of my surgery, i don't have any way to get any more.

so i headed off to Wal-Mart to get the next best thing - Monastat. did y'all know that shit costs $15 fuckin' dollars?? damn, i need to get back in school!!

they had a 7 day treatment and a 3 day treatment. and i know i can't have sex while using Monastat (told ya life sucks). so i went ahead with the 3 day treatment, which was more expensive, but i can get back to fucking faster.

i bring the stuff to MJ's house and i told him about the yeast. he was ok with it, as long as he could still get his dick sucked. hey, no problems there - LOL!!

i go into the bathroom and put in the medication. all the sudden the burning sensation was unlike any burning i had ever felt before. i came out the bathroom and got into bed and i was in pure agony!!!!!!

so MJ asks me what's wrong.

i tell him i'm burning bad!

he says "you must have bought the 3 day treatment, right?"

i was like "how do YOU know that?"

he goes "well see, your yeast infections come from your long term antibiotic useage, which is different than most women. you have lost the good bacteria in your vagina, which is what caused the yeast to grow in the first place. so when they use the 3 day treatment, most women burn anyway because it's stronger. but since you don't have any good bacteria left, it's gonna burn you even more..."

i think he only stopped talking because he saw how shocked i was...i think my mouth may have actually been open! he may be a Smalltown local who never went to college or left home, but he sure knew the mechanism of action for both antibiotics and antifungal drugs!!

he didn't even get mad when i forgot to suck his dick last night. he just held me and rubbed my stomach as i drifted off to sleep in his arms and wondered if he really is THE ONE...

the ugly green eyed monster

jealousy is a bitch! and yes, grown ass men can be bitches too!

i got a call from my BGF the other day. he first asked for my mother (our voices sound exactly alike) and when i said she wasn't there, he realized it was me.

he then said he was glad i was back home (dude i've been home for 3 weeks now, you're a wee bit behind)

then he said i needed to be studying (yeah, i know), because i wasted too much time on bullshit (WHAT?!? muthafucka, don't EVER trivialize my shit, you haven't live it!)

i was about to start cussing his ass out, ask him who the fuck he thought he was talking to, and tell him that he ain't but a FEW YEARS OLDER THAN ME, and that my father is alive and well thank u very much. but before i could, he had the nerve to say the following:

"yeah, i know what you've been doing around town, and he's nothing but a distraction. you don't need no relationship, so cut that loose. besides if you need some sex, you can always call me..."

AHHHHHHH, i see. this conversation wasn't about me being home, or getting my studies organized, or any of that other shit. it was about someone ELSE getting my good pussy that he wanted so desperately. it was pathetic...especially that last sentence.

at that minute, he lost all cool points, all best-guy-friend points, and pretty much all the respect i had for him.

"Thanks for giving me a chance" - MJ

ok, so me and MJ have been pretty much inseperable since the thing happened with my mom. i have spent every night at his house (from 10 pm to 3 am) for the past month and a half. don't worry, someone is always with my daughter...so you don't havta call social services on me - LOL!!

most nights we watch tv or a movie. we even watched the Texas vs. USC game and saw Vince Young whoop some Reggie Bush ass! mind you, there's plenty of fuckin' and suckin' going on too, but that's not ALL that we do when we are together :)

he really has been my rock, my best friend, my shoulder to cry on, that impartial person to just listen, etc. and i am lucky that he was there for me when i needed him.

so last nite we were in bed when he says "let's go to the Waffle House". we got dressed and went and had a ball just being goofy at 12:30 am. we get back and i start his BJ. when i finish, or should i say he finished, i crawl up to kiss him.

yes i swallow him and yes he kisses me afterwards, EVERYTIME. i believe in sharing the love :)~

after kissing me, he looks me in my eyes and tells me "Angela, thanks for giving me a chance" (when he calls me angela, it fuckin' melts me!!)

so as my overanalytical mind begins to work, i wonder why he said that. but i realize we are as different as night and day.

1. i grew up in the north. he grew up in smalltown, SC
2. i have lived in so many different cities and moved so many times that i can't remember all of my adresses & phone #'s. he's lived in the same house his entire life.
3. i have 2 undergrad degrees, a master's degree, and i'm in grad school. he finished high school and started working...higher education wasn't an option.
4. i'm pampered as can be, and get mad when i break a nail and have to file the others down to the length of the broken one. he is an extremely hard worker.
5. i'm undersexed and still exploring my sexual likes and dislikes. he used to be a big ol' dog and has had more women than i've had men

but to me, none of that matters. we enjoy each others company. he is a gentleman and holds/opens doors for me. he said the "L" word first and says it in every conversation and whenever i leave him.

besides, having a college degree does not signify intelligence...let us all learn from the Dexter Manley example...

"lick on my chocolate salty balls (just put 'em in your mouth)"

do y'all remember that song Chef sang from the cartoon South Park on Comedy Central? that had to be the funniest thing i had seen on tv...until the Dave Chappelle show. but i digress

this blog entry is about licking balls. if that offends you, please stop reading now. ok, the rest of you pervs like me, read on - lol!!

i remember when one of my homegirls told me about licking her bf's balls. i had never heard of that before! and this was in med school, so it's been within the past 2 years. like i have said before (and i'm sure i'll say again) i am a mean dick sucker - lol!! but the thought of going a little further south never crossed my mind.

since i am picky about the dicks i will suck, i was even pickier about whose balls to start licking. when MJ and i became an official couple, he became my first conquest.

the only problem is that MJ has a lotta "moss at the base of his tree". i mean his freakin' pubes have got to be about 2 inches long - NO LIE!!! whenever i suck his dick, and tighten my lips coming back up, i always catch a pube in my lips. then as i go back down, the pube ends up getting wedged back there in my tonsils.

i probably have enough of his pubes in my stomach to cough up a hairball or have the doctor think i have a hair swallowing disorder or some rare intestinal obstruction!! but i decided to try to lick his balls anyway.

the balls were even hairier than the base of his penis! when i ran my tongue across them, i caught 5-6 pubes each lick! i just spit them shits out right on the sheets (dare i make my hairball any bigger). so i know he knew his shits were extra hairy

i asked him if i could bring some scissors the next time i came over. he kinda freaked out. i don't know why men get scared when you wanna bring something sharp near their genitalia...the whole Lorena Bobbit thing must have something to do with that.

the next day same ritual - me licking balls and spitting out pubes, him enjoying every mintue of it. finally i just came out and said "Babe, can we trim the pubes?" no answer from him.

i was like "fuck that" i'm not gonna continue to risk my digestive health so this muthafucka can sit back and enjoy my skills.

so the next day he said he had another present for me. i'm looking all around his house, but i don't actually see anything, but i didn't say anything about it either. we get into bed, and he's pushing my head down under the covers, while i''m DREADING going down there.

i get downtown, and ALL THE PUBES WERE GONE!!! it was slick as a baby's butt!! did i go to work on his shit THAT night!! he said that was the best he's ever felt. i told him he should shaved them balls sooner - LOL!!