happy belated V-Day!!!

well, valentine's day is over and gone. and yes, i got some very nice gifts, like i had theorized earlier. but ya know, relationships take a lot of work. i guess since i haven't been in a relationship in a while (2001) i hadn't realized just how much work it takes to have a healthy relationship in the new millenium. besides, i have realized that i am really spoiled, and i have some issues about myself that i need to work on.

me and the bf are doing fine. we talked out all the monogamy issues and stuff. let me just state one thing for the record: when i told him about the non-monogamy thing, it was when we FIRST started talking/conversing back in july, not when we began dating or being a couple. since it was already out there, and i started liking him, i didn't know how to say, "ok i changed my mind, you can only sleep with me now". but we've gotten over that hurdle and are now a monogamous couple - YAY!!

so, then we ended up having a fight on monday night...yeah, i KNOW the night before the big day. he said something and i got pissed off and stormed out the house (his house) at 3:00 am and slammed the door. i think i was just overtired from staying up all night with him, then working (subbing) all day at school, then taking care of my daughter all afternoon.

he ended up chasing after me and asked me why i slammed the door and what i was mad at. i didn't answer. he tried to catch onto my clothes, but ended up catching my ponytail. he kept saying, "talk to me" but i was trying to pull away from him. then i realized i couldn't go too far because what he had a hold of was attached to my head. since we were both pulling in opposite directions, it began to hurt.

so in my sleep deprived mind, instead to actually TALKING to him (which is what he wanted) i decided the best way to get out of it was to push my head back in his direction to get the tension off my hair and scalp, and once there was slack, i could pull away. unfortunately at the very same time, he gave a huge tug and i ended up falling to the ground. HARD. on my coccyx (butt) bone. which really hurt. of course at 3 am on a frosty ground, it hurt even more.

so i started crying and he says "will you please come back in the house so we can talk about this" and as i look up at him, he's crying too.

AWWWWWW!!!!

i must have cried for about an hour and slobbered all over his sweatshirt. he just held me and told me it would be ok, and for me to calm down. he said he was sorry for hurting me, and i said sorry for slamming the door. and that was all that needed to be said i guess.

when i left that morning at 6 am to get ready for my day, i left him a valentine present on his dresser. he specifically asked for a pic of me, and i am picky about pics i give out 'cause people will be looking at them, so they have to look good. i went to glamour shots and had some really nice ones and i put it in a frame that said "i love you" on it.

so i was kinda worried about how the rest of valentine's day was gonna go, but i had already bought his gifts. i spoke to him that evening, and everything was good to go.

when i got to his house, he opened his gifts first. i bought him a case of his favorite yogurt, 2 dozen krispy kreme donuts (his favorite) and a carmelo anthony jersey. he was so excited. then he tells me that i had to close my eyes. he led me back to the bedroom, where soft music was playing (jahiem i think). the entire room was lit up by candlelight, but not just any candle. it was one of those things where you put a tealight in the bottom and some melting stuff on the top. but this one was different, because it was made of stained glass and the whole room was different colors. it was so pretty!!

on the bed were TWO boxes of candy. one huge red one, and one pretty pink box. there was also a bag from my favorite store - Vickie's, filled with all different lotions, shower gels and sprays. finally he also bought me a bouquet of pink and red roses.

on top of all that, he even took the time to pick out a nice card!

so, we are trying to do this relationship thing and make it work. we'll just have to take it one step at a time and see how it goes...

i hope you all had a very HAPPY VALENTINE'S Day!!

further info on my pissed-ness...

ok, so after reading the comments from my last post (about being pissed off), i realized i have to fill in some more details.

i still hate other peoples kids - that hasn't changed. i stopped answering my phone in the mornings for last minute calls. if i KNOW in advance that i have to sub, then i can mentally prepare myself. so it's not that bad...

so the bf thing....

the night he had to "run an errand" at 11 pm:

i don't remember which night it was, but it was just before the superbowl. when i called, his older aunt answered the phone. she told me that he had to go out, but that he said it was OK for me to come ahead over and wait on him to come back. so of course i went.

i had to see how he was dressed, and his body language seeing me there, etc. once he returned from whatever he was doing. when i got there, i noticed that his stereo system was sitting on the front porch. which i thought was a little odd. the aunt and i chit-chatted until he got there.

he came in carrying some component of a stereo (amplifier, tweeter, woofer, some shit i dunno). he put in in the place in the entertainment center in the living room and started playing the new
Keyshia Cole CD (which was hot).

the other shadiness:

within the next two days after the stereo incident, he wanted to go out with the fellas, which i thought was odd because he's one of those people who keeps to himself.

but when we first began talking, i told him in advance that i don't plan on practicing monogamy until i get married. so if he felt the same, i just asked him not to mess with anyone is Smalltown (and i would do the same) as long as we also both agreed to use condoms ALL THE TIME. Smalltown is just too small and it was more of a respect thing. he agreed, but he's just always been home. now all the sudden he wanted to go out.

so i told him to go ahead and have a good time and to call me when he got home. which he didn't. which pissed me off. but did i really have a right to be be pissed? i told him to go and at least he ASKED before we went and not just disappeared.

we sat down after the superbowl and talked about everything. after i wrote about being pissed i called him - and to my surprise, he was at home...he never even went to the superbowl party (which is what i thought). he said he didn't go because once i told him i couldn't go, he wasn't going without me.

about the stereo thing - he said something happened to his stereo and he wanted to try to use the (whatever he got) to see if it would still play cd's with his DVD player . he always tries to play music at night so his older aunt can get some sleep while we are in the back of the house going at it. but somehow i always wake her up...but i digress...

he said when i called him that morning, i said something mean to him. in all honesty, i can NEVER remember what i say . i can only remember what someone says back to me. probably cause when i talk i'm not listening to what i'm saying. i'm just talking. so he repeated what i said, and it was kinda mean (something to the effect of if he had gotten in at a decent hour he wouldn't be so tired and he would be able to talk to me). but hell, I TOLD HIM to go out. if i didn't want him to go out, i shoulda said something.

he never told me what he did when he went out, and i never asked. i do know that he was very apologetic in bed on sunday and monday. he kept saying he was sorry for what he did, even while eating my pussy i kept hearing him mumble "i'm so sorry baby". the pussy eating still isn't every day, so i guess it was an extra treat for him being sorry.

truth be told, i'm not cold hearted. i can't just dump a guy on the drop of a dime like some people (steph - lol!!). no offense steph, you are still my girl, but i'm just not that hardcore.

i would rather have a guy go out and do whatever and then realize what he has at home and come back to it. i ain't gonna let it happen all the time, but we are just passing the 6 month mark in our relationship, so it's still fairly new to both of us.

most importantly - let us remember that valentine's day is NEXT tuesday. i know i got really nice christmas gifts and we had a great new year's. if he's THIS sorry about what he did, then i should rack up like a welfare mother on the first of the month!!

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF

since future put me back in his family, and he tagged everyone in the family, i guess i gotta do this....so enjoy learning even more about me than my 100 list

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: Angela
Birthday: October 18th
Birthplace: New Jersey
Current Location: Smalltown, SC
Right Handed or Left Handed: depends on what i'm doing, but mainly right handed
Your Heritage: African American, Italian American, Native American
The Shoes You Wore Today: black flats (subbing today)
Your Weakness: ANY Chocolate with Nuts, White Castle double cheeseburgers (with onion rings and a chocolate thick shake - you can have your way with me!!)
Your Fears: Being that crazy old lady with 100 cats
Your Perfect Pizza: Pepperoni with the pepperonis slightly burned and crunchy
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: pass my licensing exam and move the FUCK out my momma's house
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: don't really IM
Thoughts First Waking Up: what day is it??
Your Best Physical Feature: My beautiful smile...and you thought i would say my bodacious tatas
Your Bedtime: when my eyes close and i stop hearing the TV
Your Most Missed Memory: going to Bowcraft amusement park...and it's STILL in business
Pepsi or Coke: gotta have my COKE
MacDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonalds fries with Burger King burgers
Single or Group Dates: Single, so i can be freaky in the movie theater
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate!!
Cappuccino or Coffee: depends on how much caffiene i need for the day
Do you Smoke: no, and i hate it when assholes light up around me! my fucking lungs are ALWAYS at work dude!
Do you Swear: Fucking yeah
Do you Sing: In the car
Do you Shower Daily: i'm in med school - what do YOU think??
Have you Been in Love: current bf is the first one...everyone else just got on my nerves
Do you want to go to College: it was so nice i did it twice
Do you want to get Married: yes, soon, now
Do you belive in yourself: of course, i'm smart as fuck
Do you get Motion Sickness: ever since living in the caribbean and driving on
Do you think you are Attractive: i am a fuckin' hottie
Are you a Health Freak: i was pre-baby
Do you get along with your Parents: i love them, but they both suck
Do you like Thunderstorms: as long as i am inside
Do you play an Instrument: yes, i am an EXPERT in the skin flute

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:no
In the past month have you Smoked: hey i already said i didn't smoke...stupid question
In the past month have you been on Drugs: only what the doctor prescribed
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:never in life
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: not even in my own pool
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: No

Ever been Drunk: there was that one cruise with the free alcohol...that i don't really remember too well
Ever been called a Tease: all the time
Ever been Beaten up: that sister anne had a mean metal ruler...
Ever Shoplifted: back in the day...of course
How do you want to Die:as long as it's not painful and lengthy i don't care
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a happily married doctor, wife and mom
What country would you most like to Visit: France (Paris) and Africa (Egypt)

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: doesn't matter
Favourite Hair Color: doesn't matter
Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter
Height: over 6 feet
Weight: Big and thick (think linebacker)
Best Clothing Style: whatever is comfy
Number of Drugs I have taken: prescription only
Number of CDs I own: over 1000
Number of Piercings: 5 total...guess where :)
Number of Tattoos: 1
Number of things in my Past I Regret: too many to count