Pain Killers are not my friends

Mistake #1:

last night, i took a pain killer right before watching Grey's Anatomy. since i'm almost a doctor, i usually quiz myself on the stuff they talk about and see how well i can answer the questions the attendings ask the residents (told you i'm a nerd), but last night i couldn't answer any...then i remembered the pain pill - lol!!

it started to kick in about 10:50, right at the end of the show....

about the same time when one of the female doctors starts crying (i'll save you the long story as to why) and no one can comfort her...except her boyfriend, who climbs in the bed with her and holds her.

OK, that did it...while narcotics filled my brain, i was about to call MJ.

i literally had to talk myself out of calling, but ummm, "myself" was really mad, sad, and upset and wanted to call. i know it sounds silly, even thinking about it now. but i just HAD to call him.

the only way i kept from calling him was to turn on the computer and play Zuma...well actually i have Zuma deluxe on my hard drive (more nerd evidence!). when i looked up, it was 12:30 am, and i knew i wouldn't call that late.

i tried to go to sleep, but i layed there until 3:00 am. at 6 am, the alarm rang. i had to get the mommy stuff going.

all this time, i thought i had MJ out of my system. i guess not. deep down, all the random sex hasn't filled the void that he filled in me.

irregardless of the way i feel, the point is he's not making an effort to contact me...so i need to leave it alone.